I often think back to all the "soul searching" and emotional travels I have gone on. Most of which have in some way have involved food! Whether it was me comforting myself, or celebrating, or during one of my many "life changes". Secretly I was always hoping that somewhere hidden in that gorgeous little cardboard ice cream pint I may find myself.... hidden behind the caramel ribbon, or just beyond the fudgy swirl... maybe even under that mint chocolaty chip! But, to my dismay, i would reach the bottom and no "me" to be seen. Ya I felt better for the moment ~ but I am sure that it was really just a heavy cream and sugar induced hallucination.
So, why do we look at ourselves and then smother our problems in cheese sauce? Why?? Cause it feels good! But why do we have to be eating the "wrong" things in order to feel "Right"? I started, along with everything else I started, to reinvent all of my favorite recipes. All the old standbys that my kids loved, all the ooey gooey cheesy melty yummy comfort foods I love, all the everyday-only have a few minutes to get something on the table- dinner time recipes. I love going to a restaurant and being served. Ordering from the deliciously describes delicacies that only they could offer. Never having to lift a finger except to put fork to mouth, all the clean up was done by some faceless drone in the kitchen. Not by me! However, I found myself eating and eating and eating some more. Never thinking about the damage I was doing to my dress size. It was my little escape. No "mommy" duties, no "wife" chores ~ just go in, sit down, order and RELAX! All my problems melted away like the first bite melted on my tongue.
Who was I kidding. You're not going to find yourself at the bottom of an endless sundae. My problems were still problems after I left the table. Actually, they were probably going to be worse before it was all said and done. I would look at myself in the mirror later and hate myself for the weight I was packing on.
I had to find a way to face my problems head on ~ and more importantly ~ back away from the food. Obviously I'm not going to give up eating, or give up enjoying food. I just need to get the strength to stop covering up under layers of it.
Task #1: Realize that I am worth the attention it takes to feel beautiful
Task #2: Understand that my needs are just as important as everyone Else's
Task #3: Examine my strengths and weaknesses and work on both!
Task #4: Do a detailed and thorough examination of the people in my life, re-connect with the ones that are supportive and loving and DITCH the ones that are not!
Task #5: Find a way to eat and love what I am eating, with out having to hate myself when I'm done!
Some of us as women, and some as men, when we become parents lose a sense of who we are. Our priorities change and we no longer give ourselves the attention we once did. We feel guilty for taking that time for ourselves when it should go to the kids. I hear myself preaching to my friends all the time about how important it is to take time for yourself, or your marriage. That like a houseplant, it takes water and attention to grow. Well, we are like houseplants too. We need attention, and nourishment, and love to continue to grow and be healthy strong individuals. As I lose more and more weight, I am peeling away years of layers that I packed on while ignoring myself. Luckily I am finding that I do like myself. I am creative and strong willed. I am caring and generous. I have weaknesses that are fixable. I can be an amazing wife, an involved and caring Mother and still take time for myself. I am deserving of it all, and like my recipes... I may change a couple of ingredients but the end result is still as delicious as I remember it!
Here's to helping you find Your "Inner Skinny"!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment