Sure has been a while. A lot has been happening in this crazy life. Kids are growing, activities keeping us all busy. I ventured into a new business opportunity getting me out of the house and into a whole new world. Its been up and down and in and out, but I wouldn't change a bit of it.
I hit my weight loss goal.... and then it hit back. I am up a bit from where I thought I wanted to be. Lost sight of what my goal was.... but learned that the number on the scale doesn't define me and wont confine me. That was a huge step for me.
The "skinny" I think I want to be, and the "skinny" I think I will be are 2 totally different definitions. My smaller clothes fit, down 5-6 sizes from where I started, so really I cant complain! I still see all my flaw areas however I think that is the woman in me. I will always see the flaws before the beauty. I ask myself often, "Just how long is it til I SEE the "ME" in the mirror?!?!" Do you ever do that? What or Who do you see when you look in a mirror?
Having 2 young girls in the house I have to be careful with my often harsh observations of myself. I learned recently that a girl's self esteem peaks at age 9.... AGE 9?!?! Really??? Crap! My oldest daughter is 11 and my younger daughter turns 9 this summer!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! What have I said, done, taught them??? That was a frightening reality for me. As I thought back to when I was 9 it started making a lot of sense. I have fought the argument of my value since I was young. Ok, so its reality... reality sucks... so how do we change it?
I know, a lot of questions today... but I think it all relates to this journey and how we can make a change in ourselves and in our futures. Til next time ladies... some skinny food for thought.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, March 4, 2012
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